A Job To Do
by The-Guardian-Shadow
Summary: Jane goes undercover in a drug lord's world. What will happen to our favorite detective?  Dark story line.  Rape Warning!  Read and Review! Rizzles? Complete
1. Chapter 1

**This is a darker version of my usual stories.**

**Please read and review. It helps me become a better writer. **

**I learn from my mistakes and I long to please the readers that actually take the time to read what I write. I highly appreciate those that do. LOVE YOU! 3**

"Rizzoli! Can you step into my office?" Cavanaugh called out the moment Jane walked into the bullpen. She didn't even get a chance to put her keys on her desk before he called to her.

"Yes, sir." she replied then opened her drawer and dropped her keys in with a clang. Closing the drawer she gave Korsak a questionable look.

"Lets just say I'm too old to do it." He said back to his partner.

Walking in through the threshold of the captain's office she looked over at him. "Sit down, Rizzoli." He said as he sat on the front edge of his desk.

She did as she was told and sat down in one of the two chairs in front of his desk.

"Jane, I was going to have Frost do it when he came in this morning but he's out with the shingles. Called in an hour before he was supposed to be here." He paused for a moment then reached behind him on his desk and picked up a picture of a man and handed it to her. "This is Jason Gold. He is the drug lord of Boston. He recently popped up a week a go. Brian Howard the case we had then, he was apart of the Black Bloods. Gold framed Maraz and now it's our time again to take him down. I'm sending you under cover Rizzoli."

Jane studied the African American man. He was a muscular guy but she could tell it wasn't from 'roids, it was from pure iron. This man had green eyes and a scar on his left cheek and on his forehead going back diagonally into his hair line. He had waves in his short hair from a due rag. He was a good looking man but an obvious abuser and killer. "Why me? I'm homicide, not narcotics."

"I know but I knew my team here would be the best for the case. Since we dealt with this group once. Narcotics is in this as well but none of them wanted to take the job. Plus, Gold actually accepts women into his gang. I'm glad Frost called out today, because I see your potential, Rizzoli. You're a great detective. One of the best. Now, you want to work your way up still don't you?" 

Jane looked at him for a moment then finally nodded. "Yeah but I don't want to be stuck in an office like you." She smirked.

"You do this, Jane and I will give you a title."

"Okay, I'll do it." She said standing up. "Now, how do I get in?"

Cavanaugh when to a black duffel bag in the back corner of his room and grabbed it. Bring it over to set on his desk he opened it. "You have everything you need in here. A new gun. It's not one cops usually carry. You have ten grand in cash. A new cell phone so none of your contacts now are on it. The only ones you have are mine, Korsak's, and Frost's. I'm under Jack. Korsak is under Pop. Frost is under Lenny. There are a couple outfits in here. To help you fit in."

Jane looked through the items in the bag and nodded. "Okay. Location?"

ooo

Jane's first stop after getting the news was Maura's office. After dropping off the duffel back under her desk she took the elevator down there. Walking into the redecorated office with uncomfortable furniture and useless figurines, she walked up to her best friend's desk and sighed. Pinching the bridge of her nose as her elbow rested on her free hand.

Maura looked up at Jane with a tilt of the head. "Jane... you have tightness in your facial muscles. You're stressed. What happened?" She asked setting down her paperwork and turning in her chair, folding her hands in her lap to listen to her friend.

"I um.. I just got word that I have to go undercover."

"Undercover? Like you were at Merch?" She asked with yet another adorable tilt of the head.

"No. Like undercover as in drugs. You remember the Black Bloods? Well, apparently Jason Gold framed the murder of Eric Maraz one of the men in his gang. Now, its time for a sneak attack and I'm the person to do it."

Maura stood up. "Jane... that's really dangerous. I'm not sure I'm happy about this. What if your cover is blown? You could end up getting seriously hurt, or worse."

She nodded. "I know, Maur. But if I get through this and put Gold in prison I have a promotion waiting for me in the end."

"You're going to risk your life for money?"

"And a title."

Maura shook her head. "Jane what about the people who love you? What are you going to tell your mother?" 

"What she doesn't know..won't hurt her."

"Well, that's a cliche. If she looses you because of something you haven't let her know...it will hurt her emotionally and most likely mentally."

"Maybe, but I have my mind set on this and I'm going to do it, Maura. Whether you, Ma, or the Pope like it. I just came down here to tell you before I leave. I don't have my cell with me so you won't be able to call. Cavanaugh gave me a new cell to protect my identity. I will call you every night when I have a chance." She smiled slightly then turned and left to go back up to the bullpen and to grab her bag. She had a job to do.

**Please don't forget to review. It helps me out greatly. Thank you! **

**And I promise, you won't have a clue to what happens in this story until I write it ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Read and Review People!**

**I'm re-uploading this because the first time I did it didn't save right and actually got cut off. Sorry about that guys! I'll have chapter 3 up soon.**

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><p>Against Maura's better judgment, she knew her mother's better judgment, and her own Jane found herself in Gold's territory. Going up to one of his known men that usually stayed on the street ally between the vet's office and the hardware store, she went up to him. "Heard you have some of the best stuff."<p>

A tall, rough looking white guy looked at her. He had obviously snorted some of this own stuff. "Yeah, that would be me. What's it to ya?" He spoke in a deep voice.

"A grand is what it is to me." Jane replied pulling out her cash and held it up for him.

Smirking he opened his jacket and reached into the inside pocket. He pulled out a baggy of coke and held it between his fingers. "This is what you get for a grand."

"Done." She took the crack and handed him the money. "Now, I heard you work for Gold. I was wondering where he was."

"Who wants to know and why?"

"My name is Elisa Maza and I'm looking for a job." Jane had chosen that name from a show she had gotten obsessed with because her brothers watched it while growing up. _Gargoyles's _Elisa Maza was a cop that found out that there were hidden gargoyles living in New York. Jane loved that character and actually made her want to become a cop even more. Elisa was strong and courageous and fought monsters everyday. Just like Jane is and does now. And she knew no one would know or at least remember the name from the cartoon show.

"Follow me." He said simply then led the undercover detective down the alleyway. After crossing the street then entering another alley, he went to the left and opened a rusty door and let her in. Walking through, he then followed. She immediately saw three men and another woman spread out from the couch to the chair then Jason Gold sat at the desk.

"Aaron. Who is this and what is she doing here?" He snapped at the guy that led Jane there.

"This is Elisa Maza. She just bought some crack off of me and was interested in a job with you."

Jason stood up and eyed Jane. She blended in with them with her black v-neck shirt, jeans, black work boots and her gray zip up hoodie. This wasn't his first round with people undercover. He walked up to Jane and lifted her shirt. She flinched slightly, surprised by his forwardness. He was checking for wires. Moving behind her, Jason slowly slid his large hands up the back of Jane's shirt and felt for the same thing. Rizzoli knew what he was doing so she let him. He did however pull out her 38 super.

"Find everything you need back there?" She asked sarcastically.

"Good thing for you, I didn't. However I did find this." He held up the gun with his index finger through the trigger hole. He came back around and looked into her dark eyes. "It's nice." he looked at it slowly inspecting it. "Why do you want a job with me?"

Jane looked at him and smirked. "Because I need the money. And because I need my drugs. Why not kill two birds with one stone?"

"How long have you been using?

"A few years now. I had started when my ex did and I haven't stopped since."

"I do have a position open. However, I'm going to have you by my side for a while to train you and keep my eye on you, Maza."

"That's fair. When do you want me to start, Gold?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Tomorrow meet me here at 7am. We have a job to do that will test your abilities. You can leave now." He said then walked back to his desk and sat down after returning the gun to its rightful owner.

ooo

"Hello, Jane." Maura answered her cell phone as she knelt down to feed Bass his strawberry.

"Hey, Maur. Well obviously I'm safe for now. I start work for Gold tomorrow." She explained as she put the key into the lock then went inside her apartment. One she was renting for the time being just in case one of the druggies followed her, the wouldn't know where she was actually living.

"What exactly are you doing for him?"

"I'm not sure but apparently there is a job he wants me to do with him tomorrow to prove my abilities."

"Jane, I want you to be care.." Maura didn't get a chance to finish before Jane interrupted.

"I am careful Maura. I know what I'm doing!" she snapped.

"I know, but I still can't help but worry. Your life is at stake and I can't help but feel as if something may happen to you. _Listen to your gut. _You always tell me. Well my intestines are telling me that this isn't good for you. I'm worried about my best friend."

Jane threw her keys down on the coffee table and groaned as she flopped back on the couch.

"I know you are, Maura, but I'll be okay. After everything I've been through, I'm pretty sure I'm invincible." She smirked to herself as if Maura could actually see her.

"You know that is not true. No human being or other living thing can be invincible. Everything has its breaking point and I'm worried that.." Her voice started breaking up, on the verge of tears.

"Please don't cry..." Jane pleaded with her. "I promise you that I will be careful. I will come home in one piece every night and when this is all over, we'll have a movie night. Okay? Trust me, you can't get rid of me that easily."

Maura laughed gently. "I don't want to get rid of you, Jane. Our relationship is really based on the two of us balancing each other out. Like the famous Yin and Yang."

"Oh yeah? So I'm assuming I'm the black side with the little bit of white and you're the opposite." Jane chuckled into the phone.

"If that's what you want to be, Jane, then so be it."

Now that Jane had to be away from her best friend, she found herself missing her a lot. "I miss you." She spouted out before she could stop it. However it was very true. Only one day away from her and she felt an emptiness in her soul.

"I miss you too, Jane. I really do." Maura swallowed hard then paused. She had been feeling something for Jane ever since her father took her and Jane had said that she would do anything and get anything to get Maura back.

"We'll make up for lost time. I promise." Jane said gently as she ran her fingers through her dark hair.

"I hope so." Maura replied.

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><p><strong>Hmm got two things going on here. What does Gold have in store for Jane? How will the girls take the feelings building in them for each other? <strong>

**Review for more chapters!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Read and Review Please!**

**This is the chapter that tells you what Jane has really gotten herself into.**

**I don't proof read anything. Too lazy for that lol. Lucky enough to get a story outta me lol**

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><p>Walking beside Gold with her 38 special in the back of her jeans under her gray zip up hoodie she walked into the crack house with him. There were whores everywhere, obviously doped up. Looking around the run down house, she zoned in to a big Caucasian man leaning against the door frame to go into the kitchen.<p>

Jane showed no fear at all. She stood her ground and Jason could see that. They walked up to Reynolds, the man Jane had been scoping out, and stopped a few feet away from him.

"Yo, Gold, you got the stuff?"

"You got the money?"

Max Reynolds dug in his front right pocket of his jeans and pulled out a large roll of cash and handed it to Jason. Jason exchanged the drugs for the money.

"How about that sweet thang you got next to ya? I'll pay extra for her." Max then smirked.

Jane stayed quiet but still stood her ground. Jason looked at him. "Hell no. She's mine. Lets go, Maza." He said then turned around and started to walk out. Jane followed. And as she did she heard a click of a gun cocking.

"No one says no to me!" Reynolds yelled as he aimed his gun.

Jane moved quickly and shoved Jason down to the floor. Pulling her own gun out as the bullets started to fly, she fired twice and hit Max both times and watched him fall backward.

Jason got up quickly and pulled his gun and he and Jane moved backwards towards the door as two other guys came out with guns blazing. Taking them out quickly, Gold ran back to Max's body and took back the drugs then ran out with Jane by his side. Getting in the red Corvette they sped off and drove back towards the safe house.

"You proved yourself back there, Maza. Welcome to the team." He smiled and Jane had to smile back.

Jane knew she was getting in further and further towards her goal and that couldn't make her anymore happy than what it was now.

ooo

Getting back to the safe house, Jane and Gold walked in. "Alright time to celebrate! If it wasn't for Elisa here, I wouldn't be here right now." Celebrating meant to pull out your stash and start snorting. Sitting down on the rather uncomfortable couch next to Jason, Jane pulled out the baggy she had bought yesterday. She had never done anything like this and wasn't sure how to do it. She sat there as they sniffed up the white powder then watched as they passed around whiskey bottles.

"C'mon Maza. Don't just sit there." Jason said. "Unless your a cop." He said jokingly.

Jane looked at him and swallowed. She knew she had to know. "I'm definitely not one of those. Fuckin' pigs." She laughed then poured some of it out on the coffee table. Jane secretly watched them do it then learned. They used mirrors mostly and cut up the cocaine with razor blades. To snort it up, the men and women around Jane used rolled up dollar bills to use as straws to sniff it into their nose. This way was the way to have the longest reaction time to the drug. They high lasted for about 15 to 30 minutes. Sniffing up her own stash, Jane sat back and let the high take over for the first time.

ooo

Days went on like this, then a week and a half passed. Jane found herself addicted to it. She was not only snorting it but she was injecting it into herself. Injecting is the act of using a needle to release the drug directly into the bloodstream. She started injecting right into her forearm.

She had stopped calling Maura every night and just shut off to everyone. Sitting at home alone she would cut up her own blow and snort it. She had found another way to get high and that was to smoke it. Though the high didn't last very long it was still enjoyable.

Jane had become friends with Jason and his crew but the moment she recorded him secretively admitting to the murder she was sent in there to catch him on, she called in her Calvary and had him arrested. Gold threatened her life, but even then he didn't have his crew members to take her out because even they were arrested for the use of illegal drugs.

ooo

Four days after the arrest Jane was getting ready for work. She had dark circles under her eyes and realized that only make up would cover that up. Jane put on base and powder then added a bit of blush and black eye liner. She threw on her clothes then went into the bathroom and smoked a bit before leaving.

Walking into the bullpen, Frost smirked. "Damn Rizzoli, you got a date?"

She laughed. "Shut up."

Sitting down at her desk she stared at her computer. She was coming down off her high. Smoking the white magic, Jane found that the high only lasted about five minutes so it was perfect just before work and maybe during lunch. Taking a deep breath, Jane tried to focus but just couldn't. Maybe she would need to use some sooner than what she thought.

Getting up, Jane turned and practically ran right into Maura. "Oh Geeze... Maura. Hi."

Maura looked up at Jane and her usual smile slowly disappeared. "Jane, you look terrible."

The taller woman looked at her with furrowed brows. "Damn, I guess I'm not wearing make up anymore." She turned to look at Frost. "Doc here thinks I look like shit." Looking back at maura she glared down at her. "Awesome." Jane said sarcastically then moved past her to go into the bathroom. Locking the door behind her, she pulled out her baggy and cut a line and snorted.

After making sure there wasn't any white residue on her face or clothing she tucked her baggy back in her front pants pocket and walked out. Coming back into the bullpen she sat down with a grunt and started working full speed.

With cocaine she gained so much energy during her high. She blasted through her paperwork. She was almost hyper-active.

"Rizzoli, can you come in here please?" Cavanaugh said as he walked into the bullpen then turned to walk back to his office waiting for Jane to follow.

Making her way into the room, she smiled and sat down. "Yes sir?"

"Rizzoli, you've proved yourself during your undercover work and you have the title of Lt. Rizzoli and a great pay raise." He said with a smile then slid a sheet of paper across his desk with a pen. "Just sign this and its official."

Jane smirked and snatched the pen quickly and signed her name. "Thank you so much. I promise you, I won't let you down."

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><p><strong>Alright! That's chapter three. Review to tell me what you think<strong>

**I love reviews! Especially when there is more to the story that still has to answer so many questions.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all your reviews! It inspires me to write more.**

**Work has been getting in the way of this story but I'm trying to post continuously. Just please be patient.**

**Again as always Read and Review! Thanks**

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><p>Ever since she came back from undercover, Jane hasn't been the same. Something is very different about her. The normally quiet and level detective has become very talkative and eccentric, or in other words, bizarre. Yes, very bizarre. Un-Jane-like. She's been wearing make up, which sets off an alarm in my mind no matter how gorgeous she looks. I know my friend is hiding something. As if she is using the make up as a mask to hide who she has become.<p>

When she's not hyper-active, Jane completely does a 180 turn and is very quiet and almost apathetic. I'm very worried.

Today she and I were supposed to have lunch. Jane had told me she would come down and get me the moment she was done with her paperwork. An hour after our usual set lunch time, I went up to check on the detective and found that her desk was still messy with open files and papers, but Rizzoli was no where to be found. Asking Frost if he knew of her whereabouts, he shrugged and told me that the taller woman went to the bathroom about half an hour ago and hasn't been seen since.

So as curious and apprehensive as I am, I went to see if Jane was okay. Going to the bathroom on the homicide floor, I go to open the door but find that its locked. Knocking lightly. "Jane... are you in there?" I question then hear a sniff.

"Uh yeah yeah... I'll be right out."

A moment or so later I hear a flush of a commode then seconds later the wound of running water. Finally, the sound of the door unlocking then the sight of my best friend standing in front of me.

"Jane, are you okay?" I ask gently, not to upset her.

"Yeah I'm fine. What's up?"

"Well, I thought we were going to lunch. Are you not feeling well? You're pupils are dilated and..." The detective then cut me off before I could describe the rest of the symptoms I was seeing.

"Yeah, lunch. Lets go. You wanna go to the deli down the street or the cafe downstairs or somewhere new? Hell I just wanna go home. How about I cook? " Jane said very quickly.

My worries did not stop just because she said she was fine.

ooo

Hours had gone by since the last time I took a hit. I was feeling tired and miserable. I was crashing from the cocaine. I knew I needed help and eventually someone was going to find out. Hopefully, it wasn't Ma.

It eventually hit me that I had to get up and draw a line or three. Getting up and had gone straight to the bathroom and pulled out my baggy. Before I knew it I had already smoked one roll and sniffed two lines and half an hour had passed. Oh well, my plan was to tell them I got sick if they asked what the hell happened to me. What I didn't expect was the knock on the door then Maura's voice calling from the other side. Shit...

"Uh yeah yeah... I'll be right out." I answered my friend then began cleaning up. Quickly, I stashed everything away in my pocket. I tossed the butt of my 'crack stick' under some wrappers and paper towels in the trash can. So she didn't think anything was strange, I flushed the toilet then went to the sink and ran the water as I checked myself out to make sure there wasn't any white powder on my face, hands, or clothes.

Once I unlocked the door and opened it I saw Maura standing there looking at me strangely. Hearing her question if I was okay, I didn't lie. I was finally feeling better. I felt like I had drank three Redbulls in a row.

I then answered her question about lunch a little too quickly. It was like I couldn't stop talking. This wasn't me. I wasn't this talkative, spastic person. Ever.

Going back to my place and cooking for her, I could tell she knew something was wrong. But I tried to be an upbeat person and started singing and dancing to the music from the radio.

Finally we started eating and I started to slowly relax. I was starting to crash again. My highs only lasted for maybe a half an hour to a full hour.

Maura and I cleaned up the kitchen then sat on the couch. She was quiet. Quiet, in fact I think she was studying me. Studying with that cute little tilt of her head. Gah, she's adorable.

But anyway, I knew it was only a matter of time before she figured out what I was doing to myself.

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><p><strong>Ok, that was a little different. I used 1st person to get a better perspective on what they were both seeing and feeling.<strong>

**Please review, it gives me inspiration :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry its been so long since I updated. However, here is another chapter.**

**This one is very dark so beware and don't say I didn't warn you.**

**Enjoy! And as always read and review. :D**

"Angela, I'm worried about Jane." Maura spoke as she sipped her hot tea.

The doctor had gone over to the guest house to speak with Jane's mother about her abnormal behavior. Standing with her hip against the kitchen counter she grasped her white coffee cup lightly. Angela also had her tea and was standing facing Maura. However her cup read '#1 Mom'. She had gotten it as a gift from her three kids when they were still in school.

"She has been acting...Un Jane-like" Angela spoke.

"Her eyes have dark circles under them. She's hyper-active. Jane's usual exceptional physic has changed. She's loosing weight. I've noticed that she has barely been eating, Angela." She sighed. Maura was worried about her friend. "I found a rolled up dollar bill on her coffee table this morning. I think your daughter is using cocaine."

The older Rizzoli gasped. "No... my baby can not be using drugs!"

Tommy had heard most of the conversation and came out from the hallway. "Actually... Maura's right. I know the signs for it. Jane's been showing all of 'em. Coke users roll up dollar bills to snort the powder they cut up."

"I can't believe she's doing this." Angela's eyes began to fill with tears.

Maura sighed softly. "I'm going to go talk to, Jane and see if I can't get her help."

000

Jane was sitting on her couch with a serenge and had just stuck the needle into her arm and began to inject herself with liquid cocaine. Maura used her key without warning hoping she would catch Jane in the act. And in fact she just did.

"Jane..." Maura spoke softly and closed the door behind her.

Rizzoli looked up and stared at her friend. "Maura.." 

The blond walked cautiously over to Jane and gently took the half empty serenge out of her arm and laid it on the coffee table. "You shouldn't be doing this. Do you have any idea what this does to your body?"

"Don't care."

She reached for her baggy of powder, but it was intercepted by Maura. "No, Jane."

Anger built up in the detective. Normally she wouldn't hurt Maura for the world, however the drug made her not herself. In one swift moment she had the doctor by the throat and pinned on the couch. Jane's body hovered over her.

"J-Jane. Please... let go." Maura's voice was barely audible due to being strangled. She could see the anger in her best friend's eyes and it scared her.

Seeing the fear, Jane loosened her grip but didn't let her up. "What I do behind closed doors is my business. NOT yours!"

Maura nodded. "Okay... I'm sorry, Jane." She put her hand on the brunette's wrist and the other on her shoulder trying to push her off. "Please, let me up."

Jane looked at her and smirked with a certain evilness about it. "No. I don't think I will." The drugs were making Jane think illogically. She had been in love with Maura for a while but what she was about to do was no way to show it.

She moved her hand down Maura's body, to the bottom of her dress and moved up her inner thigh.

"Jane! NO!" She started trying to push her drugged friend off but it was no use. The taller woman let go of her throat and gripped both wrists in her hands and held them tightly above the blond's head, firm against the couch.

She then gripped the crotch of her panties and yanked hard, practically ripping them off. With them now at her mid thigh, Jane's hand found its way back up. The fear in her friends eyes only turned the detective on more. Feeling her small patch of course curls, Jane smirked.

Maura closed her eyes tightly. She struggled but was only deflected due to Jane kneeling between her legs and spreading them with her knees. The only moving Maura could do was to open her legs wider. She was stuck. Tears ran down her cheeks as she cried.

Jane shoved three fingers in suddenly. She then leaned down as she pumped in and out and put her lips to Maura's neck. The blond was quivering with each touch. "Please Jane... stop."

The detective didn't stop for a while. It was only when her low came that she pulled out and realized what she had done. Maura was curled up on the couch now, crying. "Maura...I..." Jane looked down at the pile of coke on her table and the needle.

Maura weakly got up and looked at the floor after grabbing her purse. She pulled her panties up and shook her head. "I came over here to help my best friend and I get raped..." She looked broken and defeated.

"Maura, I'm so sorry." It was too late to apologize. She had allowed herself to rape the woman she loved. Jane watched her run out of the house and felt a tear escape her eye. "Who am I?" She whispered to herself.

**Ok ok. I know some of you may say Jane was out of character but you have to realize the Jane on TNT isn't addicted to cocaine. **

**Please review this! I really love review and they inspire me to write more. Thank you for following this story this far! LOVE YOU ALL**

**(ps. I usually don't proof read so forgive my mistakes)**


	6. Chapter 6

**The aftermath**

**Read and review please!**

Maura walked into her house, after she, surprisingly, made it home in one piece. She was a mess. Her mascara was streaming down her cheeks. The normally cool, calm, and collected doctor was anything but. Shaking, scared and paranoid she locked her door and stood by it looking at her house. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body. Images of Jane's actions only an hour ago flashed through her mind.

It was dark out, and the last thing on the blond's mind was sleep. She wanted to shower and get Jane off of her but couldn't move. Only with the rapping on the door beside her made her jump.

"W-w-who is it?" She asked in a shaky voice.

"It's Angela, honey. You left your keys in the lock."

With an unsteady hand, Maura reached and unlocked the door then opened it. Angela stood there with the keys in her hand and saw how the unknown rape victim was.

"Maura... sweetheart, what happened." She asked coming inside and closing the door.

Tears began pouring again. The older Rizzoli looked at her with worry then took Maura in her arms. "It's okay. Whatever it is..."

Maura buried her face into Angela's shoulder and sobbed. She was shaking heavily.

"What happened tonight? Did you see Jane?"

Maura simply nodded and cried harder.

"What happened between you two?"

Maura pulled back slightly and looked down for a long moment. "I came in unexpectedly and caught Jane... injecting herself with liquid cocaine. I went to take it from her and the next thing I know..." She took a pause as well as a deep breath. "Jane had me by the throat and pinned down on the couch."

Angela looked at her with an expression that read 'I'm going to put Jane over my knee and wear her ass out'. Though she couldn't really physically do that anymore. "Maura I'm so sorry."

The blond shook her head. "I kept telling her no... I kept trying to push her off, but I just wasn't strong enough..."

"What do you mean, Maura?" Angela was beyond concerned now. "What did she try to do to you?"

"She didn't try..." Maura slowly looked back up at her. "She did." Tears poured again and she leaned back against a wall and slid down. "I just went over there to save her..." She put her face in her hands and sobbed. "She... raped me..." She whispered, however Jane's mother heard it.

Angela had never been so angry, however she bottled it up as much as she could and got down on her knees and held the blond for hours on end as she shook and cried. Whatever she needed to do, she was there for her 'adopted' daughter.

000

Jane sat on her couch for the longest time and stared at the drugs. She had just raped Maura. She did the one thing that she was most against as a cop. Now she was the criminal and Jane hated herself just as much as she hated any other rapist.

Joe Friday had come out from hiding and sat on her haunches at the end of the couch and stared at Jane. Her expression was almost hateful as it looked as if she knew exactly what Jane did. After a moment she stood up with a lowered head and turned around to leave the living room and crawl back under the bed.

"You should hate me, Joe...I hate me." Jane mumbled.

Looking down at the crack she found herself staring at it and hating herself more. How could she had been so stupid. How could she have give in so many times and snorted, shot up, smoked? What kind of cop was she? Who was she? Jane didn't know any longer.

Standing up, the detective piled all her stuff on the mirror she had cut the powder up with the razor blade and took it to the bathroom slowly. Taking a deep breath the first to go was the rest of the liquid in the syringe. She shot it out in the toilet. That was harder than she thought it was going to be. She looked in the mirror at herself. At the person she had become and wasn't happy at all.

Taking the Xacto marker Maura had left by the sink, for when she spent the night she loved to wake up in the morning if she had to go in early and write little notes for Jane on her mirror, and wrote two words that hit her the hardest. _Fuck up!_

She had tears in her eyes as she looked back at the white powder. Taking the baggy she had on the mirror she opened it and walked a couple of steps to the toilet and poured it out. Jane took the loose cocaine on the mirror and watched it slide off into the toilet as well. After throwing away the razor blade and the mirror, Jane slid down the wall. Putting her head to her knees she cried. For several long hours she cried, ignoring the phone calls and the pounds at the door.

"Who am I?"

**Oh don't worry there will be more chapters to come. **

**This isn't the end. Jane still has to face Maura and her mother. **

**Wonder how that will turn out. ;)**

**Review please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Read and review please! :)**

**What happens after Angela finds out what her daughter has done? You're about to find out.**

_POUND! POUND! POUND! POUND!_ "Boston Police Department! Open up!" _POUND! POUND! POUND! POUND! _

Jane sat on the floor of the bathroom against the wall silently.

When there was no answer, one of the officers kicked the door down and three uniformed men with guns came in. It didn't take them long to find where the detective was. "Jane Rizzoli, you are under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs and for the rape of Maura Isles." It didn't surprise her that they knew now.

She was pulled up and slammed into the wall, face first. "You have the right to remain silent." The sound of the first cuff was put on her left wrist. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law." The sound of the second cuff clasping on her right wrist was heard. "You have the right to an attorney..."

Jane had never been read her rights before. In her mind she was following along with each word being yelled. The headstrong detective didn't put up a fight. She deserved to go to prison, she knew that. Maura had pressed charges, mostly because Angela wouldn't let her make any other choice but that.

000

Sitting in a lonely, cold jail cell Jane sat at the top corner of the bottom bunk part of the bed, against the corner of the wall and held her knees to her chest. When food and drink were given, she didn't accept them. Jane hated herself and what was worse... she was going through withdrawals.

Days had passed since she was arrested. Since she stopped using. Since she raped her best friend. There were no visitors for her until today.

"When cocaine use is suddenly stopped, a "crash" follows almost instantaneously that is characterized by an intense craving for more cocaine." Maura spoke softly. She knew that since Jane was now in prison she couldn't have what she craved most.

Jane slowly looked up at the honey blond and stared for a moment. She looked away and sighed softly. "I'm sorry..."

Maura ignored her apology and started with the facts again. "Although cocaine withdrawal does not typically have visible physical symptoms like "the shakes" and vomiting that are common with heroin or alcohol withdrawal, the level of depression, lack of pleasure, and craving caused by cocaine withdrawal equals or surpasses what is experienced with most other withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes the depression level gets so bad in some cases that one becomes suicidal..." Maura took one step closer to the cage of imprisonment. "I... don't want to see you go through that."

Jane shook her head. "I deserve it... I took what was not mine. I hurt you Maura. I can't live with that."

Maura was scared shitless of Jane but she needed to be close to her. She looked at the guard and nodded. That was the signal for him to open the gate. Once he had, Maura slowly and cautiously walked in. "Jane... you raped me. Part of it was my fault."

"No... it wasn't your fau.." Maura cut her off.

"I tried to take the cocaine away from you and you reacted. You were defensive and... When I looked into your eyes while you were hovering over me... Who I saw was not Jane Rizzoli. Instead I saw a monster."

Jane nodded. "I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry Maura."

"I know you are...and I want to drop the charges under one condition." She knelt down in front of her, trying to control her fear. "You have to go to rehab for as long as it takes."

"From one cage to another." Jane whispered then finally nodded. "I'll go."

**I know this was a short chapter but I have a plan for when Jane goes to rehab that involve her mother and maybe another patient.. Plus I gotta wrap this story up sooner or later lol.**

**Reviews mean the world to me so do it**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry its taken so long for me to update. My life has been crazy and I had no motivation to write more for this story (til now which is still kinda.. ehhh). Plus, I had another story line in mind. And now I have a one shot in mind. Goodness, y'all are up for some goodness. :D**

**As always Read and Review Please and Thank You!**

It had been two weeks, three days and six hours and counting, since Jane checked into Boston Rehab Facility. Sitting in her white room on her not so comfortable bed she sat with her knees to her chest. In her white tank top and gray sweatpants. She looked out of her small single window. It was raining hard. It had been for the past few days, on and off. It seemed to sooth the detective. Detective...when she thought of her job it depressed her. Jane knew that she would be loosing it, the one thing that was constant in her life, that made her happy even if she was dealing with evil all day.

Evil... thinking of that word all Jane could think about was the words coming from Maura's mouth. _Who I saw was not Jane Rizzoli. Instead I saw a monster. _She agreed with her friend, the woman she loved, the woman she brutally raped. She was indeed a monster.

Everything she had worked towards with the doctor, everything they've been through has been flushed down the pot.

"Lets go Rizzoli." A man in a white work suit called out as he opened the door. It was 3pm and time to go sit on the patio outside. Every day a certain amount of people would go at different times to get some fresh air. It was a nice change of scenery.

Sitting down in one of the lawn chairs beside the screened wall of the patio, Jane pulled her feet up on the chair and sat there, silently. She watched the rain as it dripped from the gutter. She was in her own world right before a young, skinny blond guy came up to her and squatted down.

"Hey... I know what your goin' through, yo. I'm in here for the same thing.." He spoke and Jane's first impression was; 'drugged out skater dude'.

Slowly looking over at him she nodded slightly then went back to watching the rain.

"I can help you out.." He whispered then slowly slipped a tiny baggy into her hand. She didn't look at him until he stood back up and started walking away. Secretly she looked down at the white substance in the baggy and swallowed. How the hell did he get this? She wondered. Looking around subtly Jane made sure no one was looking then stuffed it between her breasts.

Jane got back to her room an hour later and sat down in the chair out of the site of the window in the door. Pulling the baggy from her shirt she looked at it and sighed softly. She knew it was wrong to use again because that was the reason she was in this god forsaken place, but the temptation was too strong.

Jane gave in and started using.

A couple more weeks had gone by and the skinny blond, otherwise known as Jake, had become her supplier, her 'friend'. He was the one person Jane had gotten close to in rehab. Weeks had gone by and none had been the wiser about the cocaine use.

Today Maura decided she would stop by and visit for a few minutes. Knocking lightly before coming in, she saw that Jane was in the bathroom. The door was shut and she could see the beam of the light on underneath. So she sat on the side of the bed and waited.

Jane sniffed and cleaned up her mess. She put the new baggy behind the toilet and wiped the excess off the counter then opened the door, wiping her nose and mouth. Looking up she saw Maura sitting there in her proper seating position. Jane stepped back, flinching a bit, not expecting the woman she raped to be in her room. "Maura... uh hi."

Dr. Isles slowly got up. She immediately knew what Jane had been doing. She walked up to the former detective and took her chin in her hand and turned her face from side to side. "Jane..." She started. Anger actually rising in the usually calm doctor's eyes. "Where did you get it?"

Jane pulled back and looked at her. "What are you talkin about?"

"The cocaine, Jane! Where did you get it?"

Jane stared at her and shook her head. "You're eyes are red, pupils dilated... and.." Maura wiped off powder that Jane had missed from the corner of her nose with her finger. "You missed some..." Tears came to the doctor's eyes.

"Do you not care? Do you not feel ashamed of using and doing what you did to me?"

Jane's eyes filled with hot tears as well. "Maura... I'm so sorry. I was doing okay until a couple of weeks ago..." She then fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around Maura's waist. "Please help me... I know I don't deserve it but I want to get better for you... please."

Maura didn't touch her. She was angry. "You need to want to get better for yourself, Jane."

The brunette slowly looked up at her. "Please..."

"Where is it?" She asked about the cocaine she knew Jane still had.

Standing up she led Maura into the bathroom and took the baggy off the back of the toilet as it hung on by tape.

"Is that all of it?"

Jane nodded.

Maura lifted the toilet lid and looked at her friend. "Dump it. Pour it out Jane... That's step one."

Jane slowly opened the bag and looked at it then Maura then the water in the pot. "I want my friend back, Rizzoli... I want to help you but you need to help yourself first." With a nod, Jane watched the white powder fall into the toilet in a steady stream.

"For you, for myself, and my family." Jane whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Just a reminder:**

**I OWN NOTHING... unfortunately lol**

The next few days were crucial. Jane was staying with Maura and trying staying clean. As hard as it was she was trying to behave. Through her second withdrawal, Jane couldn't sleep, she barely ate and barely spoke. It was like she was going through a sever depression. In fact she was.

Maura was rock solid on making sure Jane stayed sober. She wasn't going to play this time around. Now she had her in plain sight and there was no way she was going to let this woman that she cared for deeply slip again.

The second night Jane was there, she had woken up in the middle of the night and sat up in bed and grabbed her piece from the night stand drawer right beside her. Sitting on the side of the bed, the former detective stared at her gun. Examined it. Running her finger along the length of it, she felt the cool metal that she was going to use to end everything.

Luckily Maura had gotten up to check on Jane. To see if she was sleeping, knowing that she wasn't able to the night previous. Walking in she saw her best friend slowly raise the pistol to her temple. _"JANE NO!"_

She couldn't get that image out of her head. That night after hiding her friend's gun, Maura slept in the chair of the guest bedroom and stayed awake, watching and protecting Jane from herself.

After that night the doctor took everything in the house that Jane could use to hurt herself and hid it.

The next morning, sitting on the couch, Jane had her second cup of coffee in her hand and was staring down at the hot dark liquid in the BPD mug. She was sitting on the edge of the cushion with one elbow on her knee and her cheek resting in her palm.

The blond made her way over and sat a cushion away from the brunette and looked at her.

"I'm sorry..." Jane whispered softly.

"I know." Maura responded just as softly.

"No... you don't. I've never screwed up so badly in all my life and when I do I chose you to hurt the most. Maura, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I gave in undercover and started doing drugs..."

"Jane, that wasn't your fault. If you hadn't your cover would have been blown and you might not be here with me now."

"I'm sorry for hurting you the way I did. I would rather have had my cover blown and no longer be here than to have done that to you. If I had known that I would rape you because of it... I would have shot myself."

"You almost did Jane... the other night, you scared me worse than when you took advantage of me. If you had pulled the trigger we would not be having this conversation right now and trying to fix things. Jane, I would be lost without you."

Rizzoli simply looked down and nodded. "Sorry about scaring you like that. I was just trying to..." She sighed unable to continue.

"I would be _lost _without my best friend, Jane." The doctor restated.

"I do have on question, if you don't mind."

"Shoot." Jane looked at Maura and grimaced when she realized she could have used a better word other than that. "Sorry."

With a soft sigh, Maura spoke. "Why? What in the world possessed you to do that to me?"

Jane took a deep breath and looked away. "Because...ever since we pretended to be in a relationship in front of Giovanni its been in the back of my mind. I've thought about being in a real relationship with you. My feelings came to the surface and I knew that you were what I wanted in every since of the word. And I guess that night I found the opportunity to capture that moment and...I wasn't thinking clearly." She looked back at Maura shaking her head. "I'm sorry."

Maura had tears in her eyes. "All you had to do was ask." Slowly tears ran down her cheeks and fell upon her skirt. "I've wanted you for a long time but NEVER like that. Never like that night." She was trying to catch her breath through the sobs. "Now we can never redo our first time...never."

Her confession brought tears to Jane's eyes as well. "Dammit... dammit. I'm so so so very sorry, Maur. I didn't know what I was really doing at that moment and I couldn't control myself." She put her face in her hands after setting down her mug. "I wanted our first time to be romantic. I wanted to woo you in the way you deserved. I wanted to see a smile on your face as I looked down at you... not fear and tears."

Maura sighed softly and lifted her mug then slid a coaster under it. Even given the circumstance she didn't want a ring left on her coffee table. Looking at Jane, she took a chance and put her arm around her friend pulling her down gently, then let her head rest on her lap.

Jane was was stiff for a few minutes before finally relaxing and wrapping her arm around Maura's bare knees and letting her tears fall.

A good ten minutes passed and neither woman said anything until Jane spoke. "I-I love you, Maura."

The good doctor didn't respond immediately instead she ran her fingers through the dark brown sea of hair and nodded. "I've always loved you, Jane." A pause filled the air and both women smiled softly.

Jane rolled onto her back and looked up at her friend with her head still on her lap. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Maura smiled and ran her thumb over the detective's lips, slowly. "I forgave you the moment you did it."

**Should I continue? Review please!**


	10. Chapter 10

Jane was doing good. It had been a week since she and Maura announced their feelings for one another. They were working on their relationship. Building up trust along with making sure Jane stayed sober.

Today was a big step for the detective. The Rizzoli's had their family dinner tonight. Maura got wind of it from Frankie and figured since Jane's family didn't know that she was out of rehab.

Jane sat in the car nervously. Just seeing her family and knowing that they knew about her drug use she would get the fourth degree, made her that way.

Walking into the house, Maura went first and Jane could hear Angela's squealing as a welcome. "God, I can only imagine what she'll say when I walk in." She said still standing against the wall outside the front door.

"Angela, I brought you all a surprise." Maura said sweetly then turned to watch Jane walk through.

Ma gasped, Frankie and Tommy grinned.

She stood and waved slightly to her family. "Surprise..." She said out of the side of her mouth.

Angela rushed to pull her daughter into a hug. "Oh honey! I thought you weren't getting out until another month.

"I signed her out into my care. She..." She didn't want Jane to get into trouble with her mother. "I knew she would do better with me than being alone in that room they placed her in."

The older Rizzoli looked back at Maura with a smile then looked back at Jane. "Janie... you need to hold on to that one." She turned to bring the doctor into a tight hug. "Thank you for taking care of her."

Jane smiled as Maura looked over Angela's shoulder smiling back at her. "I wouldn't be Jane's best friend if I didn't take care of her."

Angela pulled back and they all sat down to dinner. Jane sat by Maura and smiled over at her.

"So Janie, how you holdin up?" Frankie asked. Tommy wasn't saying much, he had his eyes on Maura.

"I'm doin' good. Maura's made sure of that." She looked over at her secret girlfriend and smiled. She noticed that her youngest brother had been eyeing Maura since she got there. "Actually, she and I have something to tell you."

Maura smiled and took Jane's hand.

"We're actually dating." The detective said with a proud smile. Her nervousness surprisingly going away. Tommy was the only one surprised.

Angela and Frankie laughed. "You mean you weren't before?" they said in unison.

**Short Chapter. Sorry! Reviews please! they keep me motivated and right now my motivation is goin down the drain with this story. Next chapter could be the last.**


	11. Epiloge

**Last Chapter! **

**Enjoy and review **

**Thanks bunches! (**I own nothing! Sad isn't it?**)**

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><p>0816/2012

I really appreciate the get well letters from you. It's one thing that lets me know you haven't forgotten about me and that you still care.

It had been a long, trying year after I got out of rehab. There have been times where I wanted to snort, smoke, and inject, but all those times Maura came to my rescue. I swear if it wasn't for that gorgeous Medical Examiner I would be dead today. That woman is my life line. Moving our relationship to the next level was the best thing... No. I'm going to correct myself right there. The moment I ever laid eyes on her was the best thing I've ever done.

Ma and the guys have really accepted our relationship and of course Ma is already pushing marriage and kids. Geesh! Not that I disagree or anything but _maybe_ its too soon... I said maybe.

Cavanaugh didn't hold the drugs against me because well It was _his _idea after all for me to go undercover with drug lords. So I got my job back and my life. However, undercover work that involves druggies... yeah, NOT doing that again. Just sayin'.

There are things that I did in the darker areas of my life that Maura and I wont mention ever again, however she has forgiven me. She truly loves me and there is nothing in this world that will ever break her trust again. Maur is my soul. Honest to God. I really don't know what I would ever do without her. I guess you were right about her and I. You always were right about stuff like that. Tell me your secret! ;)

Well, I guess that's all for now. You know I was never really good at writing these things. Hope to see you soon.

I love you, Pop. 3

Janie

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><p><strong>That's all folks. I really hope you enjoyed this story. I figured I would end it a little differently. <strong>

**Well reviews are always appreciated! 3**


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